just another imaginary friend

I am trying so desperately to erase you
To forget our history together
If I remember our best laid plans
To run away and marry each other
I will fucking kill myself
You said you wanted me, couldn't live without me
Practically begged me to spend my life with you
Your words were so sweet, they got stuck in my throat
Everything I said to him was with you in mind
I lashed out just to have a reason to leave
But he was the one who got to have me forever
Little did I know forever would not last long
Maybe I deserve all of this or maybe I don't
You only liked me when you were sad
Found some sick solace in my pain and darkness
But baby I need the fucking light to shine through
And you took the matches with you
Maybe it will be bright enough to find you in hell

we are better off

I'll never be the girl you wanted me to be
Never the girl you needed me to be
I'm so fucking sorry
This love could not fix me no matter how hard we tried
But that's okay
I'm not going to be a mystery anymore
This pain has been waiting to crash into me
It's finally time to let it in
If I am crushed beneath this weight, at least I tried

I told you it was Now or Never

Baby I am not going to let you win this time
Go ahead keep fucking trying
What did you even plan on saying to me?
That my ultimatum of 'love me or leave me' drove you away?
Well baby as long as the keys are in the ignition...
You never belonged here anyway
I was your greatest conquest and your greatest failure
Baby you could have had me from the very beginning
But if that happened only heaven knows
Who would have survived that tragedy
You chose her over me, and that's okay
Too bad it had to blow up in your face
Ya know she was never the same person after you
Her smile faded and so did her body
She tore herself limb from limb to make you happy
But your eyes were only on me
I thought it would be so fun to dangle myself in front of your grin
Until you bit me
But life only moves forward and these bruises will fade
Along with the memory of your skin
Go ahead keep fucking trying
Baby, you need two to play your game
And I'm fucking out