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My dearest Genevieve,

Happy birthday, darling! I hope you're out there having the time of your days. This birthday snuck up on me. I can't believe it is already here and almost gone. You have been my light in all of this darkness. My apologies for such a short note. I will be sure to write again soon. Have a beautiful birthday. I miss you to pieces and love you whole.

xoxo

I relapsed last night

In order to heal I had to bring everything to the present
No more secrets, no more lies
it is what it is
I had to drag my demons into the fucking light
Just to even expose them to my very own eyes
How could I not have relapsed underneath this weight?
My desperation was eating me alive
Perfect, normal, sane
All perceptions of myself that I will never be
Because I didn't have a fucking chance in hell from the start
That was not my fucking fault and I will not hold myself accountable
not anymore, babe
He made me feel like I needed to be fixed
Like I was too broken to love
But now everything is in the present
I can finally breathe again
Mistakes do not define me, my conscious choices do
Here I am, baby, fucking choosing my life over you
Your eyes will not swallow me again
I am no sailor, I won't survive getting lost at sea